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I Am Walking Away...For Good

Image Credit:  K. Piper and KUSHANDWIZDOM

Even amidst the constant rejection, deceit and unfaithfulness…I was willing to forgive.  I was willing to see past your bad choices.  I was hoping you would see what you were doing and that it would devastate you the way it has me and our family.  I was hoping you would be disgusted in the person you have allowed yourself to become.  I stood by for two years waiting for you to say goodbye to her, but you won’t.  Now, I know I have done all that I can and that I have loved you fully, selflessly and completely without reservation.  I know I have to walk away and never look back and that’s just what I am going to do.

My Cheating Huband...

Learning everything you ever had and thought you had is a lie is one of the toughest places I’ve ever been in.  Learning that your husband is not the man he has claimed to be for the past 17 years is a hard pill to swallow.  Finding out your husband is having an ongoing affair is one of the most paralyzing and helpless feelings I have ever known.  Since we agreed to try and put our marriage back together two years ago, my husband has been carrying on a relationship with another woman.  Typically, when a married man decides to work on things with his wife, it would seem that he would truly give the marriage a fair chance by disconnecting with his female “friend”.  For two years, my gut has been telling me that something was going on.  Perhaps, the hidden daily phone calls between the two of them, the hidden messaging apps on his phone, her phone number listed under a male friends name in his contacts, the fact that she was spotted wearing his clothing in a picture, the picture showing that they attended a football game together and rode in his car, the lack of intimacy, the way he slept on the couch for months on end, my husband going out and getting drunk with this woman, the woman’s mother leaving a voicemail message on his cell phone professing her daughters love for my husband, my  husband introducing my daughter to this woman and/or my husband announcing that the other woman and her daughter will be going on a trip planned just for him and one of your children and that they will be hanging out…maybe, these things throughout the past two years should’ve been dead giveaways.  I wanted so desperately to believe my husband when he said, “it isn’t what it seems” and “she’s just a friend”.  The funny thing is…IT’S EVERYTHING IT SEEMED!  He just doesn’t want to be known as a cheater, but HE IS A CHEATER!  Not only has this married man dismissed my feelings and completely disregarded my concerns about this other woman, he has now brought her around my child.  What baffles me is that he never stopped to consider HER!  How do you bring this trash, the very woman who is breaking up your family and ripping apart your daughter’s world around her…to meet her???!!!  How do you do that?  To me, those are the clear actions of a cheater…selfishness and thinking with anything, but your head.  Then, to think that this woman has the audacity to continue hanging around your husband after you have reached out to her and asked her stop.  This woman comes around your child and introduces herself as if it is normal?!!  This is pure evil. 

Why stay in the marriage if what you want is something else?  Why be intimate with me when you were?  Why buy me jewelry?  Why go on trips with me?  Why?!  I know why!  The answer is plain and simple…to look good.  The only thing this man cares about is looking good to the world.  He wants to come across as the victim as the one who has done everything right.  That is his story and I am certain he will tell it.  So far, she is buying it.  No telling the lies he has told her about us.  There is more just like her out there who will believe it, but I am done believing the disgusting lies. 

The sad part is the woman he has chosen…she is has a criminal record and she is a former addict.  She has been arrested four different times for shoplifting and drugs.  How has he stooped this low?  The only thing I can do now is set him free.  Now, they can be together openly.  I will no longer be a part of their charade.  The charade is up.  I wish them the best of luck…they actually deserve each other.  I will be so much better off without this toxicity in my life.  I am done mourning…I have been doing this for two years.  I am done trying.  I am done begging.  I am done wondering.  I am done. I know that moving on apart from him is the right thing to do.  I have never been so confident in a decision.  I am done being a fool and I am done being a punching bag.  I am done lying for him.  I will tell the world the truth as hard as it is.  This is part of my process…this is my truth.  I will not permit this affair to define my life.  I am walking away with my head held high.

What Does the Other Woman Look Like?

When you think about the other woman…the adulteress, the cheater, the destroyer of families and marriages…who do you picture in your mind?  What does that other woman look like to you?  Is she obvious in her tactics?  Is she someone promiscuous in her ways?  Does she dress overly flirty?  Does she pounce on your husband and seek him out like her prey?  Sure, she may be those things.  However, she may be someone very different than that on the surface.  Maybe she is less direct and less assuming.  Perhaps, she is sly and cunning in nature…the ultimate deceiver.  What if she is a single mother looking for a father figure for her child(ren) and comes to view your husband as the perfect solution to her worries and someone who is the complete opposite of her ex?  She uses the fact that she is a “good mother” or “single mother” to win your husbands sympathy.  What if she believes your husband could offer her some financial stability and a hope for a better future…something she has never tasted?  What if she is a woman with a sob story about how her husband has done her wrong and uses that to gain your husbands sympathy?  What if she is someone who “just wants to be friends” with your husband?  What if she shares in some of the same interests as your husband or changes like a chameleon taking on your husbands interests, hobbies and ideals?  Maybe she begins to read books he reads or like sports teams he likes. What if she is the fun one that can let loose and go for drinks while the respectable and faithful wife is at home taking care of his children and home?  What if, she doesn’t come on strong at first?  What if she starts by building up the very woman she seeks to destroy…only to seem as if she is a good person with no ulterior motive?  Whatever she is…whoever she is, I am certain she isn’t as innocent as she pretends.

The adulterous woman is a morally deficient person from the ground up.  There is something within her lacking which causes her to knowingly pursue a married man with a family.  She doesn’t respect the marriage covenant nor does she respect herself.  She is incapable of true love.  She will walk through fire to get what she wants while wreaking havoc on many lives.  She is a person who disregards others even the man she is after not looking at the long-term consequences he faces by having an affair and destroying his family.  She cannot see that the foundation of a relationship based on a lie is doomed from the start.  She is one who seeks to fulfill her own needs, desires and wants even when there are millions of single men out there for her to sink her talons in to even men who could offer her the same benefits as the married man she pursues.  The problem is, she is too lazy, cowardly and morally void.  She is calculated like the master she serves.  She is evil like the master she serves.  Like her master, she will win for a moment, but that victory will be short lived.  If she is morally deficient in other areas of her life, she has no guilt in having an affair with a married man.  Maybe she is a drug addict, maybe she is a thief, maybe she is a habitual homewrecker and maybe she pawns her child(ren) off on her parents while she is out prowling for a married man.

The sad part is, she is not alone in the adultery.  It takes two.  Your husband, if weak, can and will fall prey to one of her many tactics.  She may not be attractive, she may be trashy, she may be married too, she may be an addict, etc., but none of that will matter.  He won’t be able to see her for who she truly is.  He will overlook her evil ways choosing to see only what he wants to see.  He will flush all that is good and all that he could have down the drain for this lie.  Sometimes, your husband can be saved from this fall, but other times, he doesn’t want to be saved.  Once he begins taking on her form and behaviors, he is likely too far gone.  He is consumed with deceit just as she is and has no regard for his family and the damage he is causing. Even though you will come to know what the adulteress looks like, he will live in denial as to her character.  The truth becomes relative.  He too morphs into an adulterer.  

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