So…I just turned 40 years old yesterday. In some ways, I am in a state of shock and denial. On the inside, I feel as if I was just in
high school yesterday. I think I am
struggling because now I am actually considered middle aged by the world. Additionally, I realize that life passes us
by so fast. I also vividly remember when
my mom turned 40 and at that time, I was roughly 17 years old and I recall thinking…man, she is old! Here I sit
today remembering that day and realizing…maybe she wasn’t that old. Did my mom feel the way I do? I am here…I am 40…that big, bold number has now hit ME!!!!
I am not depressed or sad about it at all. I think I am just trying to grasp the number
that now defines me in many ways. This
number is now part of who I am. Wow!
I am not exactly where I want to be in my life in some ways,
but in many ways, I realize I am exactly at one of the most wonderful places in
my life. I am so grateful for so many
things. First, I am grateful and blessed
by my Creator to have made it in life this far.
I have been healthy, safe and I am one of the lucky ones to see the age
of 40. For that, I thank God. I have my beautiful girls and I am so in love
with them and where they are right now…I don’t want to miss these moments and
these moments are happening right now…at 40!!!
My marriage has been rocky over the past few years, but in the last two
to three years, I have come to learn a lot about myself and the love I have for
my husband. I have matured in many ways and I
owe much of that to the various experiences I have had for the past 40
years! I see friendships and
relationships and have a much better understanding of what is and what isn’t
important to me. I think realizing who/what
to invest in and who/what not to invest in has honestly taken me FORTY years to
understand. I don’t have time to waste
on non-sense. I believe I have come to
appreciate my parents in a new way as well. I guess, my relationship with my parents is based on a protective and caring
sense…I see my parents through adults eyes now.
My point is, I see ways that I have grown immensely
over the past three to five years and only at 40 do I truly grasp what's valuable
in this life. I see life more clearly
now. I know what is important and worth
my time and those are things that I didn’t understand fully until now. My time is valuable and so I choose to invest
it in things that are of worth. I also
don’t really care what others think about me anymore.
You either love and appreciate me or you don’t. I don’t have an interest in justifying my
existence or selling to others my worth.
You either get it or you don’t. Slowly, but surely...I am beginning to embrace and love me...I think. I am not perfect in appearance or as a person, but I am slowly...very slowly learning to embrace me...my curves, my scars, my imperfections, my successes and me as is. This is still a work in progress, but I see it beginning to happen.
God willing, I will exist for another 40 years. I am smack dab in the middle when you look at
it through that lens and that really isn’t so bad. I have so much more life to live and so much
more to learn and experience. I am
blessed beyond measure. So, I am
wrapping my mind around the greatness of 40.
Now, I just have to try and not shame the number anymore, but rather envelop and embrace it for the beauty it possesses.
How lucky am I?
Did I mention that my birthday celebration
wasn’t so shabby either? My amazing husband
purchased me two gorgeous rings! GORGEOUS!!! One is
a new wedding band to go with my set…I have been dying to get this for
years. He let me pick what I wanted and
I couldn’t be happier. Once it gets
sized, I may post a pic. The other is an
anniversary style band for my right hand that is breathtaking! I never expected this from my husband as it
is an extravagant extra and he got them both for me on the same day. What, what???!!! I will wear these rings every day for the
rest of my life. Just another great part
of turning the BIG 4 – 0!!!! I also had
a great surprise luncheon at the Cheesecake Factory with some family and
friends…even enjoyed a piece of amazing cheesecake. Oh and I got to pick up a few things for
myself. What is there to be sad about??? NOTHING!!!
Thank you all for letting me share…
Celebrate Life...It's Beautiful and SHORT! Below are some pics from my birthday and birthday week...
