Superficial World...

Many times in today’s world, I am finding that many people are either critical or disinterested when things go really well in my life or they are overly eager to hear about my failures, hurts and bumps along the way.  In this self-boasting “Facebook” world where everything in life is so perfect…perfect marriages, perfect spouses, perfect kids, perfect meals made and the overall perfect life, it seems there is rarely any room for the real world which consists of normalcy or mediocrity.  It almost seems that there is a true need to build ourselves up or exaggerate our lives so much that “realness” and complete “truthfulness” are things of the past.  It's as if, people are afraid to face their reality that isn't perfect or that doesn't mirror someone who they view as being perfect. I am and always have been a very genuine and real person…I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I am pretty transparent. To me, relationships are based on what’s real.  If I cannot be real with someone, there is no real need to have a relationship with that person.  Superficial relationships have never meant a lot to me and lack any sort of rewarding benefits.  I have never connected with superficial things or people.  For me, if I love you…I am going to love you wholeheartedly.  If I care about you…I will care about you with all that I am.  I think in relationships, we should be genuine, compassionate and honest.  I should show someone completely who I am and if they love me or like me for me…it’s a win!  Today, it seems that more and more people are more interested in their image of perfection than they are in the realness of life.  Being human means that there are bad times, that there are trials, that there are hurts, that there are days when your kids are bad, that there are days when your marriage is not so great, that there are days when your job stinks and maybe even days where you look really, really bad.  Heck, maybe you even fed your kids cereal for dinner.  Isn’t this real?  That’s real life for me.  Sure, there are good days and great occurrences in my life and I share those with friends, family members and I even share them on Facebook.  However, that is not how it goes every day.  I think people are so busy competing against one another and even against themselves that they are losing sight of the genuineness of the human heart.  I often times talk to people and I find myself being really, really candid, but I don’t receive the same thing in return.  The relationship on the other side is superficial and dishonest.  Their dishonesty isn’t even really with me, but with themselves.  Maybe...people today are too afraid of letting others know the real them. Everyone is trying so hard to keep up with the Joneses.  I get it, I do.  I want everything to be so great and perfect, but honestly…it just isn’t!  I own it…I claim it…everything in my life isn’t perfect...hence, this blog!  There are challenges and hiccups along the way and should I choose to open up and discuss those things with you, it’s nice to have someone who also experiences real life challenges and hiccups too.  Sometimes, I find that people just sit and eagerly listen to your struggles so that they can in turn tell you how great their life is.  It’s almost as if, your pain makes the other person feel better about themselves in that moment.   I also encounter those who have created such a false reality of perfection for themselves that they don’t have the ability to talk about real life issues or even listen to your struggles.  The relationships either strive on failures or strive solely on positivity.  Isn’t there an in-between?  Like I said, if I feel it or see it…I say it.  I have had friends in my life who I believe have gotten pleasure out of my hurt or suffering.  I have had family members who have enjoyed making me feel lower than them. To me, relationships shouldn’t be a competition. Relationships shouldn’t involve lies or demeaning behaviors.  Real relationships should be filled with love, compassion and honesty.  Afterall, isn't a relationship between two people?  I am not interested in a perfect person because there is no such thing.  I am also not interested in a person who is wearing a mask.  I am interested in a real person who I can be myself with, laugh with, cry with and celebrate this thing called life with.  If I live in a trailer they love me or if I live in a mansion they love me.  Competition is for business or for sport not for friendships and relationships.  For those people in my life who do share themselves…the real them and who love me even when I fall, you are so valuable to me.  In this increasingly superficial world, it’s so nice to experience real people who genuinely celebrate my accomplishments and who hurt for me when I am hurting.  To have a deep rooted relationship based on mutual honesty and support.  It’s like being on a team, you want the team to win…if one person loses…we all lose.  We build each other up and truly desire their success.  We can learn from each other too!  This is how the game is won!  So, we shouldn't be afraid to reveal our true selves and to find those who can be real in return. We don't have to hide our true selves behind a mask of perfection to be loved and accepted.  I refuse to put on the mask.